Full Moon in Pisces, September 2017
As I write this, fires are raging through forests up and down the west coast, and in other parts of the world, other devastation is moving. The balance is out of alignment, and patterns compound. Vicious, we call these cycles. Hard to interrupt. It's easy to feel hopeless. Easy to feel powerless.
There is this idea, cherished in the colonized model, that humans alone are conscious. We can't understand consciousness, science can only barely approach the issue, but we're sure we have the corner on that market. Alongside that idea, evolution is seen as a series of biological dictates, driven by need and uncompromising circumstances. Ruthlessly practical, and not really happening consciously. We look at selection for genetic traits and don't see choice. In this model, birds didn't choose hollow bones. Hollow bones just happened, through the unconscious mechanics of biology, undeniably intelligent, but that only because of course everything less intelligent gets weeded out. Why then this proliferation, this blatant encouraging of traits in humans that will surely be our undoing? Attached as we are to our consciousness, we are in the midst of a wave of large portions of humanity deliberately choosing to not evolve. Attempting to preserve their ability to make choices that threaten our survival.
Pisces is the sign of consciousness. It is the oneness from which we all spring. It is the intelligence that moves through all life. It is the sign that knows that birds chose. That is not so rigidly affixed in its own little human intelligence that it forgets how that intelligence is born out of the genius that moves through everything.
The dominant cultural inability to see consciousness in all things, and its effect on our sense of what evolution means, is devastating. It is dangerous. It keeps us from owning that we are agents of our own evolution. It keeps us from making the connection between our consciousness and our ability/need to evolve. Dominant culture is as quick to excuse ourselves based on our humanity as it is to laud our supposed superiority over all other forms of life.
This moon is calling us to the power of our consciousness. Whether or not we understand consciousness, whether or not we can see it in all things is besides the point if we can't even handle our own well. We are conscious and we have choice. This much we know. Our consciousness shapes our ability to evolve. Pisces knows about surrender, Virgo knows about service. The best service we can do at this time is to surrender to our need to change. To choose, on our own terms, to stop engaging in the behaviors that cause harm, the behaviors that feed cycles, large and small, personal and collective, that are vicious.
The Moon, Rx
We are designed to feel. It is important that we do. A refusal to develop our emotional intelligence is a refusal to be connected, a refusal to access some of our most powerful ways of sensing and engaging. It's not just that what is happening deserves to be felt. It's that feeling is necessary for presence. Feeling is necessary for showing up in high quality ways. Feeling is what makes the difference between going through the motions; losing touch with the core of connection, wellness, purpose, and love; and engaging intentionally, powerfully, respectfully, and in service to healing. Of course we need to learn to do these things well. There are plenty of ways to feel much and give little. But without feeling in the mix at all, nothing can be given that feeds what connects us.
Our longing is necessary. Our desire for home. When we are severed from a sense of belonging, it becomes easier to destroy what holds us. Easier to make choices that erode. When we attempt to stop feeling, we engage is all kinds of convolutions to avoid the truth.
At this moment, the choice to escape would be easy. There is so much that is painful that is asking for our attention. When we tune into our longing, we have to face the ways we have hurt what we long for. The ways we have attempted to destroy it so that our longing wouldn't consume us, instead of surrendering to our need. Pisces can feel everything, and gets overwhelmed. We are socialized away from being able to handle the full strength of our emotions. We see the depth of our feeling as a sign of weakness. We are being asked now to find the power in our sensitivity. To find the stamina for it. To welcome grief with gratitude. To let our emotions teach us. To become skillful with them. To engage more, and more intelligently, rather than trying to numb our consciousness.
Our emotions are evidence of our consciousness. And we have choice. Our evolution is calling us. There is a high cost to denying our belonging. A high cost to refusing to grieve. A high cost to rejecting, and therefore never understanding, the power of our ability to feel. We must welcome ourselves home, grief and all, devastation and all, egregious errors and all. We must acknowledge the depth of our longing. We cannot come back into alignment without it.
Five of Bones
At this moment, most of us respond to scarcity by clamping down. We do it energetically, we do it with our resources. We tighten, sharpen, restrict. We become focused in ways that ensure survival in the immediate, but are arguably not at all useful in the long term.
We have to let ourselves see where this set of responses has led us.
We have to be honest. What, of everything we face, is born out of the limits of these responses? What patterns are being compounded out of woundedness? Out of the sense that wellness is not possible, that nothing is enough? That we are not enough? Most of us stop offering what we have. Most of us stop trying to hear the wisdom in what is happening.
Somehow, we need to be able to face a clear picture. We need to be able to feel the devastation itself, and the devastation of our parts in creating it. We need to be real about the pain of the scarcity we do experience while still being able to choose what we do with it effects. Choice and evolution. We can keep having the same response to the pain we feel, but if we do, we will keep building more of what pains us.
Take a look at scarcity in your life, real and perceived. Learn to map your responses to it, see the symptoms of the ways you feed the cycle. Look at what your sense of powerlessness has brought you. Hold yourself with compassion as you do, lean into Pisces love and Virgo practicality. Understanding paves the way for change.
How can we stay open when we feel the pinch? How can we shift our consciousness to be calibrated to the possibility of wellness so that that is what we seek and create?
We cannot afford to wait for evolution to happen to us. We have to choose it. We have to self select for better responses to our longing and pain. For better ways of dealing with the experience of disconnect, the weight of our consciousness, the reality of our wounds and the responsibility of healing.
If your usual tactics are not working, you must try something new. If your overwhelm only leads you to shut down, you have to find the strength to feel more and do it better. If your fear of loss keeps you from letting things in, you have to find the strength to open. If your belief in your powerlessness creates ruin, you have to find the strength to own your power.
We are not victims of our sensitivity. We are not victims of our longing.
It is human that we feel fear. Human that our grief consumes us, human to seek what soothes even when it doesn't heal. Human to begin to believe in what we are surrounded by. The stupor induced by our pain makes sense. It deserves compassion. But it will not take us where we need to go. It will not bring healing. We need to be kind to ourselves around how scary it is to own our power when the world fears it. We also need to know that nothing else but stepping into the full power of our gifts will allow us to evolve past this cycle of exploitation and harm.
Surely it is scarier by far to keep inflicting the consequences of our denial? Surely it is better to find the strength- the vulnerable, tender, emotional, multi-faceted strength- to become awakened in our magic, engaged with the fullness of our consciousness, active in our sense of connection, committed to our need to belong to each other and this Earth?
Choose your power. Choose to evolve. It is human to vision, human to dream, human to change and heal and transform.
Blessings, blessings, blessings!